Well Good morning!
Yesterday was a very tough day. I get asked a lot!!! how I do all I do...
"I don't know how you do it all", "how do you do it", "arent you tired?"...is what I hear so often.
To sum it up quicky:
I work a full time job/ministry (which involves sometimes very weird hours),
I go to college (for 10 more months & will graduate with a BFA! Art/Graphic Design),
I am a single mom of 2 (and have been for 7 years)which includes, Baseball, football, basketbal, problems, doctors, homework, life in general........),
I hold a second (third???) job selling jewelry,
and everything in between!
Yes it is hard!
Most of the time, I just trudge forward, looking toward my daily goals. I ask God for A LOT of help, and I don't think about it being any other way; it's what I have to do in order to make a living and a decent life for my children. (It's their turn!)
But there are days here and there, when it all gets to be a bit much...
When being a single parent, or just single is for the birds...
when I miss that family bond...
when I miss a shoulder to cry on (at home)...
when I miss my extended family in Huntsville (I don't have any other family close by)...
When life throws curve balls...
when my kids are hurting...
when things just arent in the plan or when things don't go just right.
Life can do that you know....???
It's days like these when I will be riding down the road, with tears rolling off my face and I don't even realize it. It's those days that I feel like I'm just moving forward for the sake of moving forward...


So yes, believe or not, I'm human.
I cry.
I hurt.
I moan and groan.
I get angry.
In fact, I get down right MAD.
I sometimes don't think it's fair.
I have a "weeeee" bit of self pity...ok...a lot.


BUT THEN:...
I think about the people in bed with cancer not knowing if they will have another year with their family.
I think about the ones that have lost a child.
I think about the people that have lost everything they ever knew, because of our economy.
I think about the people that go to work outside in the hottest or coldest of days and work to their fingers bleed.
I think about what I've been through and where I am now.
I turn on the news.
I think about the people that are fighting for our lives---for our FREEDOM! , AS WE SPEAK.
I look at my 2 PRECIOUS children...I look into their eyes...the eyes that need me, count on me, love me.
I think of the people that don't know Jesus.


AND THEN:
I pull myself together.
I get down on my knees...I talk it out with the one who understands my every thought, my every breath, my every...
thing.
I talk to my best friend...my precious Jesus...He always knows just the right thing to say.
I wipe the tears.
I ask forgiveness for being selfish...again.
I thank HIM for loving me through it all...and I thank HIM for ONE more minute to do "ALL the things I do".


AND THEN:
I get up..off my knees.
I smile.
I move forward.
And I KNOW that
I...
Am...
The...
Luckiest...
Girl...
In...
The...
World.


So I go. 
Into another thankful minute of this life that I was so gracefully given.
I realize, that it's really not about me...
It's about my children. my job, my goals, my friends, my family, and MY precious Lord.
Where do I fall?
I fall in the midst of every single one of these gifts...I am so lucky...
In fact I am Blessed.


Lyrics from Martina McBride's "Blessed"
I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed
So how do I do it all?
Well, ...
for TODAY...
It's easy.


These are my thoughts:
Dara Murphy

It really is the only way

Sitting here after a 13 hour day and then more homework at home.
It's 11:30 and I am blurry eyed...


My thoughts are wandering to a day of conversations.
I see many people throughout my days...I talk, I listen, I advise, I take advice, I laugh, I cry, I extend a hand, I am humbled, I love, I pray.


Our hearts are troubled.
My heart is troubled.
This world is troubled.
Priorities are out of control...we don't even know what's supposed to be a priority.
There are people, many people, with burdens so heavy.
My heart aches for them, so I offer a simple gesture, a hug, a shoulder, a promise.


Here are the things that have crossed my path:
this week.


Young Adulthood: A young person fresh out of high school faced with such hard and life altering decisions and has never faced such a crucial time before. It seems like it's too much. What do I take? What is my future? It's too hard! I can't do this! Where do I work? What do I do? I need more money. Not enough time. Exhausted. I need ... I need a hug. I need to cry. It's too fast. I'm not ready to grow up. I miss the days not so long ago. Those really "were" the best days of my life. I can't make a decision. I'm scared. Why does it have to be like this? It's not easy to grow up. This isn't what I thought it would be like. I always wanted to grow up so fast...what was I thinking. Help!


Looking Back: Someone looking back on what could've been. If only...I wish...Should I have? There are things I want to do. I worry. I have dreams. I'm scared.  I love my family. What should I do from here? Why didn't I know? Why did I ever do that? Such regrets. What is the future? The past, a lot of mistakes. I'm good, really...but... Just wondering. Just thinking. Just dreaming. Time really does fly.  Help!


Adolescence:  A child approaching the young adult years...so many deicisions!. I want my mom. My mom embarrases me. I love my mom. Stop it mom. I can't "wear" that! That's lame. That's cool. What is this on my face? Oh my gosh! Too much to do...not enough to do. I hate homework. School---uggghhh. When am I ever gonna need that in life??? WHy do I have to learn all that?! I can't wait to grow up! I need your help! No! I can do it on my own! I'm not a baby! Will you hold me? I love you (whispers). A tear. Wiping the tears in silent. Embarrased. Giggles. Chatterbox. Won't speak. It's ok...I understand my child. Help!


Middle Aged:  Life becomes such a struggle sometimes. It's too much. Too hard. Not enough time in the day. What about me!? I give give give! WHat about me?  I've never faced this before. I try so hard, but get nowhere. I just wanna laugh a little! I need break! So what am I supposed to do? If only there were more of me! Sleep? ha! Peace? ha! I can't do this anymore. Really. It's too late now. I'm desperate. Time has flown. Me?? Middle aged? You're crazy...well? I wanna scream! Pull my hair out!  Help!


We're all so different...but yet, so much the same.
Why do we keep it on our own shoulders when we are so weak? We can't do it alone...
So who do we go to?
There's only one answer...and you know don't you?
He begs us...pleads with us to let Him...


L ay your burdens
O n me..
R ight now, because
D aily I will carry them for YOU.


It really is the only way.
These are my thoughts:
Dara

"we" time...is even better

I work with children.
I know I've written another blog about how much I love them...but there is something that has been bothering me...a lot.


Instead of "beating up" people, I try to simply advise or strongly encourage...


Love your kids.
Simple right?
Oh I know you "love" them...but make them your priority.
I mean really.
Make sure they are clean...hair brushed...teeth brushed...clothed properly...taught manners...taught how to repsect.
These are the basics.
These things take little effort, but they DO take effort. You'll need to "give" a little.
Remember, they are children.
They are learning about LIFE every day for the first time.
Let them be KIDS. Let them play, let them scream, let them laugh out loud, let them get on your nerves (at least for a little while)...
There's a time and palce for everything.
But, guess what?
You have to teach them these things. You are the PARENT...they are the CHILD...
Please don't expect them to know these things when they come into this big world.
Teach them, period. (Learn it for yourself first, and then teach it to them. Teach them by YOUR OWN words and actions...oh dear...they're going to learn from you anyway...be careful)
Someone asked me once how I did everything I do for my kids by myself (I'm a single mom)...my reply was one I thought was just obvious..."I've had my turn, now it's their's"...
But I have seen that this statement was not so obvious.
I see children from "good" people, that are so lonely, fending for themselves, raising themselves.
My heart breaks...
Parents: you are missing out. Just put the other stuff down. Forget all that stuff. Don't waste anymore time. Time goes by second by second...you don't get it back...ever.
Spend your time with your kids. But do it with an open heart. Love the time you spend with them. Be happy, not resentful.
Cheer them on,
    encourage them,
           smile at them,
               wink at them,
                     applaud them,
                           laugh with them,
                                tell a joke,
                                    go get a "treat' together,
                                         do something unexpected,
                                             walk in the park,
                                                get off the phone
                                                   stop texting--look at them 
                                                       go get an ice cream,
                        go to a movie (let them pick-and you endure it)...
time is so much more valuable than 'things'.
Of course those things are fun too...but when they look back (maybe on their graduation day), what they will remember is "YOU"...the time spent together...what it was like. Will their memory be filled with lonliness, argueing, never able to please, constant repremanding???
Let them be who they ARE...not who you WANT them to be.
Choose your battles.
It's ok to let some things go.Think first. Does is "really" matter?
I mean, really?


You cannot imagine the fulfillment you will receive
                              when you stop living "FOR" yourself...
                                             and start giving "OF" yourself.


It's a proven fact.
Children are a gift from God...do you get excited when you open gifts?
The gift of a child is the greatest gift of all...it should make your heart beat faster when you see that precious angel run across the yard, chasing fireflies, laughing til they cry, squirting each other with the hose, cuddling up on the couch, reading a bedtime story, walking hand in hand (even if they're 18 years old), sleeping...


Take your children to church. Teach them about GOD.
What a tragedy if we don't take the time to do this.


Put yourself aside.
Sure, you can have "some ME time",
But...
I promise that "WE time" is even better.


These are my Thoughts,
Dara Murphy

I AM

I was reminded tonight of:

where I came from
      how far I've come
             the mountains I've climbed
                    the valleys I've trodded
                             the great people in my life
                                            the battles I've won
                                                  the sinner I was, the sinner I am...

and I was reminded of who pulled me through, who held my hand, who wiped my tears, who provided it all:

                                                      My Sweet JESUS.

Some people reading my blog may think I am a crazed Jesus fan (you're right), an obsessed Christian (you're right), a Jesus lover (you're right)...it's ok if you think that...I simply know where I was before and where I am now and I am thankful. I mean really, he died for ME.
My life has been different, difficult, delightful, dutiful, despairing, dilusional, delicious, and at times, just dandy.
But through it all, it has been dedicated. My Jesus dedicated his love to me BEFORE I was even born...
I am the lucky one.
I know how incredibly hard it is to live a life on the other side of the track: without him.
But (thank you Jesus), I know how incredible it is to live a life on THIS side of track: WITH him.
If it's all the same to you, I'll continue life on THIS side.
There's still heartaches, trials, despair, stress, hills and valleys...but the DIFFERENCE is that I'm not the one that has to handle it all. It is now handled be the DIVINE: my Jesus.

Thank you Lord, for reaching down and picking me up out of the lowest time of my life. I did not DESERVE the special attention. I did not DESERVE the mercy. I did not DESERVE the blood you shed for me. I did not DESERVE it all.

But I give my life to you...and I thank you for caring.
For without you I am DEFEATED...I am DONE...
But with you I am...well...
I
Just
AM.

Thank you Jesus.
These are my thoughts,
DARA
                                  
                                     

                          

I love teenagers.

I have a heart for teenagers.
I love the way they are uninhibited, laughing hysterically, silly, into new trends, making new trends, facing life, fearful of life, ...loving life.
I think back when I was one of those...teenagers.
And then I get scared...
Lordy, Lordy...I was all of the above, but you can also add: fearless, risk-taker, dreamer, wild & crazy, knew no limits, took chances, "do now...think about it later" kind of...well, teenager, and then some (years that is).
Don't get me wrong. I was who I am now, in my heart...but just a lot more "none the wiser".
Oh how I had so much to learn! Yes, I thought I knew it all...boy did I!!!!
But guess what...I was wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. There, I said it. Yes, it's hard to admit it...but it's simply the truth. Just wrong...right about a "few" things, wrong about a lot.
I was indestructable...living life to the fullest.
Making CHOICES...one at a time.

This is where things started taking directions, with choices.
Choices...big ones, little ones, a lot of them...I made them all.
Some were good, some were bad...and then,
Some were just plain...
well...
stupid.

I'm almost 46 years old now...I've learned so much. And I have a lot more to learn.
In fact, I can bet, that I'll never stop learning.
This is where teenagers come in...
If I can help in some very small way...help them, steer them, guide them, advise them. Stop them from doing some of the things that so many of us (45) year olds look back and regret.
I don't live in total regret...I have made some wonderful choices along with the not so wonderful ones...but I've learned something---much--- from them all.

So here goes:
1. You don't know everything. I'm sorry to break this to you---it shocked me too. But, as much as I hate to admit it...it's true. Just take my word for it---please!
2. Since you don't know everything... stop long enough to actually listen to heartfelt advice from the people you repec; those that have high morals and Godly character. Find someone to trust, talk to them (an older, wiser person), let them help you...be patient, open-minded...and PRAY.
3. WHen you think you're 22 years old and time is running out to find that "perfect" one...STOP! Relax! It's not to late! Wait for the person that is perfect for you. GOd has a plan. He wants YOU to find that perfect one...made in HIS image, just for you! They're out there. Be still and know that God has a plan. 
     --Don't lower your standards.
     --DO NOT try to chage them! This will NOT work! They are who they are...if you don't like them this way, then think twice---three times---!!!ugggghhhhh
     --Don't change yourself FOR them. The day will come when you want yourself back! You are who YOU are...God gave you certain traits, personality, and talents that you should expand on. If you try to change for someone to please THEM, the day will come when you miss yourself...and that will be a sad day, (for you.)
     --WHen you find that "special one" look at their family...it's the total package. For real.
     --Find the one who you REPSECT and the one who RESPECTS you. If you don't know what respect means: Webster states that it is... high or special regard. When you look at that person, you should respect their character, their morals, their habits, their talents; you should respect every part of them.
     --Here goes...respect yourself enough to wait. (you know what I'm talking about) God made this part of marriage a very sacred event between a man and wife. Save yourself for the one,,,"THE" one. This is so important but so hard to explain...It's just what God intends for us to do and it should be held to the highest standard. It's meant to be special...a bond...for that ONE person. After marriage. Not before, "well-we're gonna get married anyway...well, I love him/her, so why wait..." No! Don't fool yourself. It is plainly stated in God's Holy Word. Wait. Each person should respect the other with this decision...mutual...just do it: save yourself, that is.
     --Marriage = support, encouragement, respect, admiration, lifting-up, sacrifice, selflessness, trials, victories, sharing, caring, patience, pride, and of course----GODLY LOVE.
4. Remember that it only takes ONE CHOICE to change your life forever. Don't play the game called "Do it now, worry about it later..." that outlook often ends up in a lifetime of "looking back". Think ahead...
5.  Be careful in all you do. You are not the "only" one it won't happen to. You are NOT indestructable.
6. Set goals...small ones each day...don't think ahead until you reach the one in front of you. Reach your goals. You will be proud.
7. Achievment is important! Strive to be the BEST YOU can be...you may not be "THE" best, but you CAN be "YOUR" best...Be proud of yourself. Do the things you would be proud of...the things that you see other people doing and you say : I wish I were more like that....be someone that YOU"RE PROUD OF.
8. Be a dreamer. Dreamers were the ones who gave us the "internet highway"..the way I'm writing this to you now....it's possible that YOU could be "THE ONE"! Go for it! Step out there...raise the bar...You can do it! It's a big, big world...with endless opportunities for all of us. Don't settle. Reach for the stars! And lean on the MAKER of the STARS.
9. There is a right AND a wrong. BOTH come with consequences. Be careful which one you choose...you will always endure the outcome of a choice.
10. Be caerful about what you LOVE the most...is it "things"??? Eventually, these "things" will stop satisfying...the most important things in life are not....THINGS. Love one another.
11. Last but not least...in fact, it's the most important thing in life: Trust GOD. He created you. He loves you. He wants the very best for you. He will Help you. Make sure he is in EVERY decision you make. Please Him. It's really simple...but yet so very hard...do the things that please Him, and don't do the things that you would be embarrased to do in front of Him. If He walked in the room with you, would you be ashamed? would you fall to your knees in complete and utter AWE and wonder, looking in the eyes of YOUR Savior? or would you even know it was Him?
I love teenagers.
Actually, not just teenagers...

These are my thoughts,
Dara
     --
      

Speak from my heart...

I've thought all day about what I should write tonight. I know the subject...I've just tried to figure out exactly the right words to say. I guess the best thing to do, is what I always do...speak from my heart and not from just my head.

There is someone special in my life...I will refer to this person as "them, they".

I am a better person because of them.
I am 45 years old and I look back through the years and know they've always been holding my hand...when it was small and as it turned big.
Through everything they've been there...never judging, never leaving, never missing.
I would love to be able to say that I was always there for them as well, but I can't.
Because I wasn't.
I'm sorry.
There were times when it would've been understood if they had walked away from me, left me alone, given up on me...
but they never---ever---did.
NEVER. Not Once.

They always gave me credit, support, encouragement...on all that I have ever chosen to do.
I don't think I deserve all that I have been given by them. 
As hard as life got, they never gave up, never gave in, never complained.
And it was very, very hard at times.
They've been alone--lonely--a caregiver--a single parent--a professional--an encourager--a nurse--a teacher--an unconditional, loving friend. They've been all of these things.
At every event, every ballgame, every birth, every sickness, everything that they needed to be at--they were there...everysingle time. Never complaining...just glad to be able to do it.
I admire you.
A smile, a tear, a hug...they knew when each of these was needed.
A firm hand, a "whoopin", a scolding...they knew when these were needed too.
I've always known, and I know to this very day that all I have to do is call...and they are there.
They will put everything down just to talk to me, to help me, to love me.
They are selfless and giving and compassionate.

There have been many empty years...between us, but deep inside our souls, we've always known a stronger bond---a silent bond. We are lucky. We are blessed.

And the most important thing...
this is who taught me how to love Jesus...
to count on Him, to lean on Him, to live for Him...and it was taught not only by words...but mainly and most importantly...
by example.
I look up to you...I count on you...i think of you...I pray for you...
but,
mostly...

My constant and forever my Hero and dearest friend...
I love you!

My mother...

These are my thoughts,
Dara

Something I was thinking about...

Something I was thinking about today:


I think about what God expects from me throughout each day. This may seem weird to some people out there...and it wasn't the way I lived my life for many years...but now, it is (and has been for quite some time). I can promise that my life is very different than it was before.
I do things I never did, and I "don't" do things I used to do. It's just a different way to spend my time here on Earth.
Something most people don't understand is that it's not about "NOT" doing certain things...it's about doing things that PLEASE God. There are so many people that don't turn their life toward God because they're not "ready" to give up certain things...but that's just not the way it is.
God wants you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE...right now.


I was talking with a dear friend today...we were talking about the misunderstandings surrounding so many aspects of being a Christian...
*Being a Christian doesn't mean that you will instantly become "perfect".
 You are, and always will be, a sinner. The difference is that as a christian, you are forgiven.
*Being a Christian doesn't automatically give you a  right to pass judgement to others...instead, your  heart should be filled with compassion for those that don't understand.
 Don't pass judgement-- try to pass on what Jesus did for you...think about it...it was infact Jesus himself, that said: "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."...and then they hung Him on a cross and watched him die, while they laughed in his face...pretty deep, huh?
*Being a christian DOES mean to be Christ-Like. Jesus asks us to be like Him, to follow Him, to do as He did. As silly as it sounds..."What Would Jesus Do?" is quite profound.  We should teach the things that Jesus asks of us to those that don't have that knowledge...this can be taught by our actions AND by our words...
*Being a christian DOES mean you will go to heaven to spend eternity...GOD's word states clearly that "Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." So, everyone is eligible...but it is a CHOICE. Those that do not call upon the name of the Lord to become LORD of their life, will not enter heaven. You do not get to heaven through good works alone...you must know Jesus as your Savior. That's what it says...and it's nothing but the truth.
*Being a christian does not give you a permit to be "mean"...why is it that some "christians" are so mean? GOD IS LOVE...if He lives inside you, how can you be mean? Don't fool yourself...God knows your heart better than you do...(cough cough)
*Being a christian does not mean you get to "PICK" your sins, or "PICK" what part of God's word you want to live by...it's a BOOK from front to back...it's a law...it's all in there. Don't alter it, leave out, put in, assume, "maybe it means"...it's written in black and white (and red)...just read it and then live it...simple huh?.
*Being a christian means living with God's standards. Be careful, His standards are pretty high...in fact, to Him---hate is murder and lust is adultry...(oh dear).  In fact, "favoritism" is considered a sin...(it results from evil thoughts-it insults poeple made in Gods image-it goes against Gods definition of Love-it shows a lack of mercy to those less fortunate-it is hypocritical-it is a sin.) So...some things as simple as favoritism are sin and murder is sin...and to God...they're equally as bad as one another..all sin is measured the same...not one is more or less than the other. By the way...He will talk to you about these, all the things you did in this life that is, before you spend eternity with him...it's not my word...it's His. (CHOKE)
*Being a christian doesn't mean LIFE will be EASY. Life is Life...there will be problems-obstacles-mountains-valleys-victories-challenges-worries-tragedies---but there is a promise...Jesus can hold your hand through all of it...good AND bad. He will be there with you...ALL THE TIME.


That's a lot to swallow. So I'll stop for now.
I'm just thinking...that's all.
SO, in other words...These are My Thoughts.
Dara

Nothing profound...A simple day

I've slipped a little in my blog writing...School (mine and my kids) is full-speed ahead, along with basketball, my job, and just being a single mom...a little hectic to say the least, but thats my life and its just fine with me. Some people ask me how I fit it all in...I don't think I'd want it any other way. I believe that if I have 2 good legs, able to get out of the bed, see, hear, breathe, think coherently, and love....then I should do my very best at all that is laid in front of me. I feel it an HONOR and a PRIVLEDGE to be able to do all that I do. I do try to give God glory throughout each of my days...He has blessed me far above anything I deserve...I simply give back only a minute part of all He gives me. Just to sit here and think about all that I have, gives me such joy. (And I'm not talking about "things")


This life is the only one I have and I want to make the most of evey day. Sure, there are times I  sit back and relax and do nothing (when I can), and I enjoy doing that as much as I do anything else. I love to sit in my recliner and take a quick nap...I love to sit in silence sometimes... I love to sit back and simply listen to the sounds around me...balls bouncing off the wall from down the hall in Reed's room...pages flipping through a book from Anna Lee's room...the dryer spinning with freshly washed clothes...a car traveling down the road...those are the sounds that I love the very most. The sounds knowing my kids are safe and sound...and the sounds of life around me...some of those sounds will quickly fade as the years go by. I cherish them. I love my children.


The weather was beautiful today...I found myself just looking outside, or walking outside... savoring the beauty God gave us to enjoy. The sunset was profound and the sights and sounds of people stirring outside warmed my heart. It seems to give a sense of joy in the air when the weather is as beautiful as it was today. I watched outside, as Reed played around with the basketball a few times, then moved on to pitching the baseball..."practicing his curve ball" he told me...chasing birds in the yard...ahhh yes, pure satisfaction. 
My desire is that more people would stop and soak in the sights and sounds of simplicity...just being still...and quiet...it's worth far more than we realize.


Baseball starts tomorrow here in the valley. It's a great time of year...the sound of a ball hitting that metal bat and fans cheering their favorite player around the bases. From T-Ball to Varsity, it's the beloved all-American Sport...there's just something about baseball that makes you... well...smile. The smell of a freshly cut field...folding chairs and sunglasses...and of course the historical valley dog...ahhhhh...what a great time of year. It really is great to be a Valley Cub.

I love the fact that poeple feel comfortable enough to just "stop by" and see me in my home. I don't mind...I eargerly invite them, with an open door policy. I saw friends throughout today...coming and going...Friends are so important. Laughter and chit-chat, tears and advice, loving and learning...that's what friends are for. People of all ages enter my home...and I love them all. They (my friends) have always been there just when I needed them most, so I feel very lucky to be there for them whenever they need me...a gentle hug, or a shoulder to cry on, sharing a movie, a walk around the block, a simple snicker together, or even a belly-aching...tear-jerking outloud laugh...it's all good.


These are only a few of my thoughts for today...nothing profound, just a simple day...but another day nonetheless.  I'm thankful.
I'll be back soon...but for now...
These are my Thoughts.
Dara

My most prized possession...A story of perfection.

I once was asked what my most prized possession as a child would be.
After pondering through the years, I couldn't think of anything else but one special "thing".

As a young girl, I would spend alot of my summers with my grandparents.
I loved my time with them both...but there was something extra special about my grandfather.
My pawpaw.
Maybe it was the fact that he thought I hung the moon...or he could "fix" just about anything...or he never met a stranger...he taught me everything he could--from diggin up potatoes in the garden like a treasure hunt, to changing the oil in that 1973 Cadillac, to trimming the hedges just right so they would grow extra hearty the next year.
     Ahhhh, I remember the day so well.
It wasn't a birthday or Christmas or anything extra special like that...it was just an ordinary day.
I walked into my "pawpaw's" house and I heard that most precious sound of him calling my name. I loved to hear him say my name with that old southern drawl...I was onlyl 8 or 9 years old at the time but I remember  the sounds and the smells of my grand-dad.
I can still smell the Old Spice shaving lotion (the kind you put on your face with a brush...slap slap slap...and then easily shave it off with a straight edge razor). And I remember the sound of my name: "Dah-rah" with that wonderful slow, drawn out southern charm...it melted my heart every time.
     I walked into the room where he was waiting for me. 
He was holding a box.
He reached it out toward me...I didn't understand at first.
I knew money was taken very seriously and it wasn't a special day to receive a present.
He said, "here I've got something for you..."
I thought, "What could it be?" My little heart began pounding with anticipation...I gently took it from his withered hands and began to open it...with great care and somewhat hesitation...
"Well, go on" he said, "open it, it's just for you..."
My heart beat faster with each tug and pull...I thought I would explode.It wasn't every day, in fact it was rare that we were given something, just because...
As I pulled open the last flap, I saw it...
I saw a shiney, sparkling, black and silver, brand new, never used...it was unbelievable---just what I wanted! I was breathless!
It was a Zebco 202 fishing reel!
It was the most beautiful thing I had ever see!.
I looked at the box, and then looked up at my grand-dad. He reached toward the box to pull the new reel out, but I grabbed him first.
I just wanted to hold him...I knew it was a special day now.
A very special day.
As I stood there embraced with my grand-dad, I could feel our hearts beating together...and then I felt... a tear hit my forehead.
It was a special time indeed,..."our" special time.
     He sat down beside me, holding.that box.
He pulled that new reel out.
It was the best!
He showed me every single part and how each part worked. He made sure I knew that it was worth a lot more than just money. "Now you take care of this, you hear? It's your's. Your very own..."
I understood. I understood exactly.
     He went to the door, with his crooked little walk, and put on his straw hat, the one that was tattered through the years, the one that had his fingerprint embedded in the rim.
I knew.
He held his crooked hand out toward mine, and as he grasped my small hand, my heart beat almost out of my chest.
This was "our" special day.
Me and my grand-dad.
    Off we went, down to the lake. He caerfully, patiently, lovingly, showed me how to put that new reel onto a "not so new" rod (but who cares about that ole' rod)...
He showed me how to put the hook onto the fishing line with just the right knot...you had to take the line around the knot exactly 8 times, no more and no less and then feed it through to secure it into a fail-proof, lifetime warranty, fish gettin' knot.
He showed me how to put the plastic worm onto that big, scary hook...a 9" green worm that would catch a monster.
He would say: "now look at this here, here..." I loved when he said that. I never understood why he needed two "here's" but it didn't matter...he was perfect in every way.
    Then he grabbed 2 woven, lawn chairs. He took them (and us) down to the lake.
He opened my chair, it was green and in good shape...he opened his, it was white but it was getting tattered  and torn through the years... just like him.
The words stopped.
He patted my seat as if to say, "sit"...and of course, I did.
He sat down andpulled his chair close to mine. 
He gently held the new rod and reel in his hands.
He clicked the button and got ready to cast...he held it just right.
He tilted it backward ever so slightly past his balding head, wearing that straw fishing hat, and with a jerk of his wrist...click, the release, and then, "swoosh", the sound of a perfect cast...
I watched as the line flew across the air, as if in slow motion, and then hit the water ever so slight, with the softest "ker-plunk".
The worm hit the water and dived downward in a spinning spiral.
It was perfection...
sitting right beside me.

It was my turn.
His gentle hand, withered and worn, put the rod and reel into my hand.
He sat back in his chair, tilted his hat over his eyes, and sat with his head resting peacfully on the top of the chair.
He looked toward the heavens, with peace, and only the sound of air breathing through his slightly opened mouth. 
He listened.
He didn't move.

I tried to remember everything I had just seen.
And then I tried...the click, the tilt, the twist of the wrist, the release at just the right moment, the line hissing through the air, and the sweet sound of the "ker-plunk" in the water.
I did it!
I jumped in the air and looked back at my "pawpaw"--- he hadn't moved...
but underneath that tilted hat, I saw a half-cocked grin...
and a single tear falling from his chin.
I just stood there.
There were no words between us, none were needed...sometimes, you just know-even if you're only 8 years old. 
We both knew---together---this was a special day.

He stood- I reeled in my line- and he took my small, childish hand into his withered, wrinkled, and worn hand.
We walked back to the house, hand in hand--- as one.
I took one last look over my shoulder at the lake behind me, and then I looked up at my grand-dad...
I looked down at his hand, embraced with mine...
I had my most prized possession,...
it was the hand that held mine...
my grand-dad's. 

This story dedicated to Ennis Shaw Earwood - "Perfection"
THese are my THoughts,
Dara

Valentine's Day...the Day of LOVE! HUH?????

VALENTINE'S DAY


1. I believe this is a day set aside to boost the economy after the Christmas season.
2. I saw a man walking down the highway with a vase of flowers and a balloon...no car? no gas? but flowers...must be love...
3.  I saw way too much RED, PINK and WHITE today.
4. What are single people supposed to do on this day? Remember the good ole days???
5. So single people are destined to go into deep depression on this day?
6. So single, divorced, mom's are supposed to be content with a mere...nothing!!! on this day??? when married people and/or couples are out celebrating their great and wonderful dreamy eyed love for each other???
7. Wow.
8. What a silly day this is.
9. Can you tell I'm a little sarcastic today?
10. This is what happens on Valentines Day when you are at home ALONE, thinking about all the DATES going on in the REAL WORLD!
11. ON a good note: I did sell jewelry today for husbands to give the love of their lives...Like I said...a boost in the economy...point proven.
12.  By the way: what's a "CUPID"??? and when they shoot you with that arrow, I guess they prove that good ole' phrase..."LOVE HURTS"...


Oh well...I still had a good day! I got out of the bed, was able to walk, talk, breathe, go to a job, pray, smile, laugh, cry, hug my children, get mad, ... and... love.
Oh, and I did sneak a bit of chocolate...to me, from me...
Sorry, but not a lot of wisdom today...


There's always next year.
HAHAHAHAHA!


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! (COUGH< COUGH< GAG)
These are my Thoughts,
Dara