I took a trip to an old memory...

I took a trip today to an old memory.

 It was an absolutely beautiful day!

 I took a ride out to the reason I sit in this town today...

1973...My dad was transferred to Ft. McClellan , Alabama.

 My father was serving faithfully in the United States Army...with Vietnam in the recent past, we were beginning a new adventure.

 Little did we know, it would be the beginning of much of our future.

My dad had gone ahead of us by a few days, and had gotten our new living quarters secured.

 As we drove onto the "post", I remember driving with wide-eyes through the strange roads, in search for our new home. We passed rows and rows of thriving army barracks...green and white. That's what I remember most, the colors.

Everything was green and white...everything.

I remeber seeing men and women dressed in "BDU's", as they were called, scurrying around throughout the rows of barracks...the men and women that served our country.

 I knew they were to be respected...even then, as a young child.

I was 8 years old and I remember sitting in the front seat of that old station wagon: the typical paneled sides- family style (sorta like the one on the Brady Bunch).

My brother, Michael, was 4 years old and my mother was a young and snappy 29.

Wow, it seems like just yesterday when we turned onto Morton Road... 

 3635A Morton Road.

We had moved from Atlanta...from a residential neighborhood in the outskirts of the big city,

 into an army base in rural Alabama.

It was quite different, but somehow...

 it was rather exciting. 

We pulled into the driveway...we were home.

These days were humble.

The memories flood my mind as I write.

The baby rabbits I caught in the back yard patch of woods...

                          the "fort" I built in those same patch of woods...

                                          the bicycle wreck I had as I hurdled around the curve up the street from our house (the wreck that gave me the scars on my fingers that I can still see as I type)...

                              the lemonade stands at the end of the driveway...

                                        the tennis courts...

                                             the commisary...

                                                     the P.X....the bowling alley...the movie theatre...

it was an entire world of it's own.

 We lived on base for 3 years, and in these few years: 

my other brother, (Chad) was born, 

I witnessed my first death (of my friend Whitney's father),

I made many multi-cultural friends,

and we decided to make Anniston, Alabama our permanent home.

We lived on the base for 3 years.

I went to school on the base (3rd grade--Mrs. Hipp...she was the one who called me out in the hall to tell me I had a new baby borther. 4th grade--Mrs. Campbell--great friend then and we've recently caught back into each others paths, and Mrs. Davis were my teachers--i don't guess I'll ever forget them)

My dad died in 1986 and is buried at the military cemetary of Ft. McClellan , Alabama.

It was a memorable military service, the day after Christmas in 1986...

The 21 Gun Salute---Folding and presentation of the American Flag to our family, and the song "TAPS" played on the bugle...I remember the tear dripping off the face of the soldier that played that song. He didn't even know my father, but he was a brother...in arms.

My father would have been very proud of that day, in honor of a man who served his country for 23 years...served in Vietnam and received the Silver Star and Purple Heart (among many other) prestigious medals...it was a sad, cold wintry day in that McClellan cemetary...

but somehow,

 I know my father was smiling.

I visit him a few times a year...he's not there. But I go there anyway...

 just because.

Ft. McClellan closed it's gates in 1996.

It was a sad day.

The distant sound of the military bugle is reminiscent in the old Buckner Circle. 

It belted out it's magnificant sound every work day afternoon at 4:15.

 If I was in the car with my father during this time, we would pull the car onto the side of the road wherever we were...he would honorably get out, dressed in his starched officer's uniform, and stand at a saluting attention until the flag was lowered.

I was so proud of him at this moment.

It was reverent, honorable, patriotic...it was the way it should be.

I loved that my father served our country.

I love that old base..why, it's the reason I live in this town...

and as I drove through the faintly familiar roads today;

my heart, soul and mind remembered days gone by.

It was really a good drive.

 It's o.k. to remember those days.

Smiles and Tears and Memories...

The last thing I did was walk around an old pond...it was the pond I fished in as a young girl.

There was a children's fishing tournament one Saturday morning--1975 to be exact--

I was 10 years old.

My little brother was competing.

I was bored.

So I picked up an old rod and reel, and began to cast.

I ended up winning that tournament...

I still laugh when I think of the faces of all those little boys when I received my trophies.

I won the category "most caught fish" and "biggest fish caught".

I can still hear the shrieks from me and my mother as I reeled those fish in...!!!

Today, I sat on the edge of that pond and looked into the water..

.there were a million fish swimming right up to the edge where I was sitting.

 They were still there...35 years later.

As I stared into the water and saw the reflection of a 45 year old, middle-aged "child", I caught a slight glimpse of a small little girl with the future in her hands...

or maybe it was the glimpse of an old rod and reel....

I swirled my finger in the edge of the water and watched the fish swim swiftly away.

Oh, they'll be back...

and one day...

so will I.

As I drove around the base today, I took several pictures to savor the memories of a time I choose not to forget...

The Old Pond

My dad...well, he's not here. He's in heaven.

He knew Jesus.

The entrance to the military cemetary...something odd about that open gate...it seems so "final" once you walk inside.

There's still beauty in the still, quietness of that old place.

Springtime doesn't close ...

I just thought this was so fresh and pretty...reminiscent of frogs and tadpoles...new life.

I could almost hear the distant voices singing the old hymns of years gone by...what a joy to see this old church tucked away...but then again, what sadness that it's life was over.

Just a memory of an old, rugged cross...how sweet the sound of Amazing Grace.

I saw this old window on the side of the church building and thought of children peering inside the church during the old-time picnics. I could almost hear the laughter and shrills while they were playing a game of tag...boys chasing the girls with old toad frogs of course.

This old door was barracaded with vines, weeds and winds blowing in the distance. I looked at the outstretched vines coming through the walls of the door as if to say, "there's still life here"...

Reminds me of an old Haiku I am working on for class:
The summer river,
 Although there is a bridge, my
 horse goes through the water.
                                                           Seems a bit sad to me...

An old back door to a whithered building.

The reflection of the beautiful sky in the window pane reminds me that God built us a masterpiece to savor.

A tattered bridge that once was covered by soldiers footprints and combat boots. There are no more footprints on this bridge, but I remembered our Armed Forces still fighting so that "I"/"WE" can enjoy this beautiful country.

I loved the way God exposed this radiant beam of light into the threshold of this door. It was opened and closed so many times by people of another time. The radiant light still gives us hope.

An old walkway grown up with vines and weeds. But looking forward, to the light at the end...

The old walkway turned upsidedown...beautiful architecture...and that previously mentioned green color.

The old pond again...the bridge that leads to a tiny island with a lonely 'green' bench. Serenity.

Another view of the old church...notice the "green" cross. Like I said; everything was Green and White. A picture is worth a thousand words...

God is near...

One more good-bye...

Branches...a reminder of the many roads we can choose within our short time on this Earth.

The end of a beautiful day...what a blessing.

Oh...I know there is.

Here goes:
Talking with a wonderful friend today...
we were discussing...well, something dear to my heart.
God.
I hate to admit it, but this one might step on some toes...
it stepped on mine...
and I was the one doing the talking.
Sometimes, it's uncomfortable to admit when you're wrong.


The conversation started because of the lesson I was
teaching last night.
For last nights lesson, I studied 1Samuel about King Saul...
that poor thing. He just didn't get it.
He is quite the example of...
well,
most of us.


The story: (quickly)
He was chosen to rule God's chosen people...the Israelites.
He was an attractive man.
He was smart...uh, that's debateable. Well...he was indeed a winner of battles.
And with his power, looks, and sauve' manner...he fought many battles, and won many battles.
But he had a problem:
the more He won...the more he began to think of himself, be proud of himself, fool himself...
and...
the more he lost sight of His main purpose...
God.
Toward the end of his reign, he was told...by God (by way of Samuel)...to fight the Amelikites and detroy them ALL...and ALL of their possessions (livestock, etc.)
He listened.
Well, kind of...
Samuel, was the go between person between Saul and God, so Samuel gave Saul the messages from God himself...
wow, what a job!
So Saul went off to fight this battle...yes, he won, again.
But he only did things halfway.
He did destroy the Amelikites, but instead of destroying ALL as God had said, he CHOSE to bring home a trophy--- 
the Amelikite leader and some of the best livestock. 
This would really impress his people...if he brought home these riches to show off.
Was he forgetting the instructions?
Oh dear.
When confronted by Samuel (as directed by God)as to why he did not obey...he said: "I did obey, I killed them...well, all but the Amelikite King and the best sacrificial animals...but I'm going to offer them, as offerings/sacrifices to God."
Oh did I forget to add: that before he gave his side of this story, he had built a statue of himself in honor of...
"himself"?
He was very proud of his accomplishments.
HIS accomplishments.
Samuel was furious with Saul's excuses and knew what he had done...Samuel knew what God had instructed and held Saul accountable for his actions...and replied: "Isn't it better to OBEY than to sacrifice?"
Samuel knew the answer to this...for he knew what God thought.
And unfortunately, Saul also knew the answer to this...


We are so much like Saul...
As much as I'd like to say I have never done such, I simply cannot.
We are so good at "choosing" what to hear. Even from God.
We decide which part of obeying we will do,
what's convenient,
what makes us look good,
what will get us the most prestige...
God gives us rules, guidance, leadership. He tells us what to do...and what not to do.
(Here's that word again...)
But he also gives us...CHOICE.


Sometimes it seems that we begin believing our own excuses...and sometimes- even our own lies.
We sorta just live the way we want to, what we think is best, or easier...and we don't think about simply being obedient.
Is it hard to obey?
Yes.
No.
Sometimes.
Should we obey God?
Emphatically, yes...no doubt.
Will we answer for the wrongs we do?
Emphatically, yes...no doubt.
Is this my opinion?
No. It is HIS WORD...not mine.
Like Saul; we get caught up in our accomplishments, what makes us look good, our "looks", proving how prestigious we are, what we can do better than others,...
we are consumed with...
Our-SELVES.
We try to "FOOL" ourselves into believeing that a little white lie, or a little sin here and there is fine...why we can't be perfect can we? 
We can "fudge" a little...we can be very convincing....
But guess what?
You, me, all of us...can believe that for as long as we are here...but it's simply not right.
God doesn't say: "well, ok...go ahead, try it just once...you've been good for awhile, you can take a break."
We can try to convince ourselves all day long that it'll be fine. Rationalize it in our minds that it HAS to be done this way,
we HAVE to cheat a little,
we HAVE to lie,
we HAVE to gossip,
we HAVE to steal...
on and on.
Are you getting it?
I don't think I need to go on...


But sometimes we really don't get it do we?
It's not about us...
If we go back to Genesis...we'll see that God created us in his image, to give him glory, to worship Him.
That's it.
Simple.
He created mankind...
for Him.


I'm not trying to downgrade everyone, including myself...
I just know that when we OBEY and do things HIS way...our lives are so much more fuller and richer.
Richer than money and fame.
I've been on both sides, I know.
Really.
It's worth it.
It may not seem fair...that's us being selfish (again).
It may not seem right...that's us being selfish (again).
It may not seem fun...that's us being selfish...and just plain dumb (again).
It may not seem easy...well, sometimes, it's not...
It's just what is supposed to...
be.


The end of the story:
Saul got fired.
He lost his kingship.
He lost the very thing that he was so proud of...the thing that made him so ... duh...great.
Be careful...
cause, all that???
What we think is so great?
There just might be something greater...
oh...
I KNOW there is.


These are my thoughts.
Dara

Yes, Those were the days...

I think at middle age...oh, around 45-46...somehwere in there, you begin to think back on years gone by. Not that life is ending...or maybe it is. We don't really know the answer to that one, now do we?
Sometimes I like to just think back...as I drive down the road, or while I sit in complete quiet, or while walking down the street...I like to talk to my children about the days that I remember.
Those days really do seem like yesterday.
They really do.
Sometimes the memories are vivid...sometimes cloudy...it's weird that way.
I've written some of those things down for my children to pass on...I've told many, many stories...to many people (thanks for enduring).
I like those memories. Some of them bring a smile, a tear, a giggle...some bring me heartache, some make me laugh out loud...LOL as we say these days.
........................

I remember driving all night (9 hours) and surprising my grandparents in the middle of the night. Not telling them we were coming...knowing they wouldn't mind.  Tapping on their bedroom window at 3:00am, saying "It's me Papa...I'm here!" Never one time was there any other response but pure delight. They'd grab their robe and run to meet us at the front screen door. We'd sit up and talk for awhile before drifting off to sleep...what unconditional love I felt.
Those hugs and tears of joy in the middle of the night were the best.

I remember the evening, at the end of a hot summer day; the day we were huddled together in the back yard for a late afternoon fishing game.
One last cast before dark.
Into the lake I threw that 9 inch green worm.
I reeled it in, ever so carefully...just the way my grand-dad taught me. "Let the worm dive a little, jerk it up, reel, and let it dive back down...repeat...they'll take the bait everytime."
And then..., was I hung?!
The worm was stuck.
It wouldn't move...wait...I felt something.
SOMETHING BIG!
I yelled for Papa.
He, with his ever-present limp, came running to my side. "You must be hung on that old stump." he said.
I knew I wasn't hung...'I'm not hung! papa! just look!"...and right that moment, out jumped the biggest fish I ever had seen!
It was a monster!
I screamed!
He screamed!
He ran for the "dip-net"--- it was a wopper!
I pulled that fish in like I had done it a million times...when in fact, I was shaking from head to toe.
My precious papa pulled that fish in with the net...I can still see his eyes...as big as saucers. Of course mine were too...but I don't know if they were big becasue of the fish or because I had made him so proud.
It was dark by now...but he got those fish scales out of that old boathouse, and weighed that monster fish. 91/2 pounds!
"COME ON!" he said...and He marched me up and down that street to all his buddies, showing off that fish.
He was so proud...I was proud, that I made Him proud...
I loved that night when I was 9 years old...

I remember so many birthdays when I was young...
somewhere down the line, it became a tradition (for awhile anyway) that I wanted to get a toy doctors kit...the ones that had little candy sprinkles in medicine bottles. I think that was really the only reason I wanted that present...the candy -filled bottles.
This is what I received for several years...
but the "icing on the cake" was actually the home-made 3 layer cake with chocolate fudge icing...topped off with real marichino cherries that held one candle each.
I loved those special cakes my mother baked...
Many years passed without such a treat...
until one special year, when I was surprised with that special cake on my 39th birthday.
The only thing missing was that plastic yellow doctors kit with the candy sprinkle medicine botlles.
Oh happy day.

I remember that old farmhouse, the one with the green roof.
I remember the anticipation as we drove to see my grandparents.
We would drive for what seemed like hours...in reality it was only an hour and a half...I would peer out the window, just waiting to see the tops of those 4 chicken houses. I knew we were there when I saw those silver metal roofs shining in the sunlight.
I remember catching tadpoles in the feeding trough, digging up potatoes from the garden like I was searching for treasure, working in the tool shed with my grand-dad until I decided to liven it up by squirting him with the waterhose and old man "Cagel" laughing til' he almost had a heart-attack, getting canned grean beans our of the storm shelter for supper, and planting rows of seeds in the petunia garden. I remember that ole' black spaniel named "TIPPY", that 1959 yellow cadillac, and catching chickens by the legs...
Yes, those were the days...

Yes,
These are My Thoughts.
Dara

Well Good morning!
Yesterday was a very tough day. I get asked a lot!!! how I do all I do...
"I don't know how you do it all", "how do you do it", "arent you tired?"...is what I hear so often.
To sum it up quicky:
I work a full time job/ministry (which involves sometimes very weird hours),
I go to college (for 10 more months & will graduate with a BFA! Art/Graphic Design),
I am a single mom of 2 (and have been for 7 years)which includes, Baseball, football, basketbal, problems, doctors, homework, life in general........),
I hold a second (third???) job selling jewelry,
and everything in between!
Yes it is hard!
Most of the time, I just trudge forward, looking toward my daily goals. I ask God for A LOT of help, and I don't think about it being any other way; it's what I have to do in order to make a living and a decent life for my children. (It's their turn!)
But there are days here and there, when it all gets to be a bit much...
When being a single parent, or just single is for the birds...
when I miss that family bond...
when I miss a shoulder to cry on (at home)...
when I miss my extended family in Huntsville (I don't have any other family close by)...
When life throws curve balls...
when my kids are hurting...
when things just arent in the plan or when things don't go just right.
Life can do that you know....???
It's days like these when I will be riding down the road, with tears rolling off my face and I don't even realize it. It's those days that I feel like I'm just moving forward for the sake of moving forward...


So yes, believe or not, I'm human.
I cry.
I hurt.
I moan and groan.
I get angry.
In fact, I get down right MAD.
I sometimes don't think it's fair.
I have a "weeeee" bit of self pity...ok...a lot.


BUT THEN:...
I think about the people in bed with cancer not knowing if they will have another year with their family.
I think about the ones that have lost a child.
I think about the people that have lost everything they ever knew, because of our economy.
I think about the people that go to work outside in the hottest or coldest of days and work to their fingers bleed.
I think about what I've been through and where I am now.
I turn on the news.
I think about the people that are fighting for our lives---for our FREEDOM! , AS WE SPEAK.
I look at my 2 PRECIOUS children...I look into their eyes...the eyes that need me, count on me, love me.
I think of the people that don't know Jesus.


AND THEN:
I pull myself together.
I get down on my knees...I talk it out with the one who understands my every thought, my every breath, my every...
thing.
I talk to my best friend...my precious Jesus...He always knows just the right thing to say.
I wipe the tears.
I ask forgiveness for being selfish...again.
I thank HIM for loving me through it all...and I thank HIM for ONE more minute to do "ALL the things I do".


AND THEN:
I get up..off my knees.
I smile.
I move forward.
And I KNOW that
I...
Am...
The...
Luckiest...
Girl...
In...
The...
World.


So I go. 
Into another thankful minute of this life that I was so gracefully given.
I realize, that it's really not about me...
It's about my children. my job, my goals, my friends, my family, and MY precious Lord.
Where do I fall?
I fall in the midst of every single one of these gifts...I am so lucky...
In fact I am Blessed.


Lyrics from Martina McBride's "Blessed"
I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed
So how do I do it all?
Well, ...
for TODAY...
It's easy.


These are my thoughts:
Dara Murphy

It really is the only way

Sitting here after a 13 hour day and then more homework at home.
It's 11:30 and I am blurry eyed...


My thoughts are wandering to a day of conversations.
I see many people throughout my days...I talk, I listen, I advise, I take advice, I laugh, I cry, I extend a hand, I am humbled, I love, I pray.


Our hearts are troubled.
My heart is troubled.
This world is troubled.
Priorities are out of control...we don't even know what's supposed to be a priority.
There are people, many people, with burdens so heavy.
My heart aches for them, so I offer a simple gesture, a hug, a shoulder, a promise.


Here are the things that have crossed my path:
this week.


Young Adulthood: A young person fresh out of high school faced with such hard and life altering decisions and has never faced such a crucial time before. It seems like it's too much. What do I take? What is my future? It's too hard! I can't do this! Where do I work? What do I do? I need more money. Not enough time. Exhausted. I need ... I need a hug. I need to cry. It's too fast. I'm not ready to grow up. I miss the days not so long ago. Those really "were" the best days of my life. I can't make a decision. I'm scared. Why does it have to be like this? It's not easy to grow up. This isn't what I thought it would be like. I always wanted to grow up so fast...what was I thinking. Help!


Looking Back: Someone looking back on what could've been. If only...I wish...Should I have? There are things I want to do. I worry. I have dreams. I'm scared.  I love my family. What should I do from here? Why didn't I know? Why did I ever do that? Such regrets. What is the future? The past, a lot of mistakes. I'm good, really...but... Just wondering. Just thinking. Just dreaming. Time really does fly.  Help!


Adolescence:  A child approaching the young adult years...so many deicisions!. I want my mom. My mom embarrases me. I love my mom. Stop it mom. I can't "wear" that! That's lame. That's cool. What is this on my face? Oh my gosh! Too much to do...not enough to do. I hate homework. School---uggghhh. When am I ever gonna need that in life??? WHy do I have to learn all that?! I can't wait to grow up! I need your help! No! I can do it on my own! I'm not a baby! Will you hold me? I love you (whispers). A tear. Wiping the tears in silent. Embarrased. Giggles. Chatterbox. Won't speak. It's ok...I understand my child. Help!


Middle Aged:  Life becomes such a struggle sometimes. It's too much. Too hard. Not enough time in the day. What about me!? I give give give! WHat about me?  I've never faced this before. I try so hard, but get nowhere. I just wanna laugh a little! I need break! So what am I supposed to do? If only there were more of me! Sleep? ha! Peace? ha! I can't do this anymore. Really. It's too late now. I'm desperate. Time has flown. Me?? Middle aged? You're crazy...well? I wanna scream! Pull my hair out!  Help!


We're all so different...but yet, so much the same.
Why do we keep it on our own shoulders when we are so weak? We can't do it alone...
So who do we go to?
There's only one answer...and you know don't you?
He begs us...pleads with us to let Him...


L ay your burdens
O n me..
R ight now, because
D aily I will carry them for YOU.


It really is the only way.
These are my thoughts:
Dara

"we" time...is even better

I work with children.
I know I've written another blog about how much I love them...but there is something that has been bothering me...a lot.


Instead of "beating up" people, I try to simply advise or strongly encourage...


Love your kids.
Simple right?
Oh I know you "love" them...but make them your priority.
I mean really.
Make sure they are clean...hair brushed...teeth brushed...clothed properly...taught manners...taught how to repsect.
These are the basics.
These things take little effort, but they DO take effort. You'll need to "give" a little.
Remember, they are children.
They are learning about LIFE every day for the first time.
Let them be KIDS. Let them play, let them scream, let them laugh out loud, let them get on your nerves (at least for a little while)...
There's a time and palce for everything.
But, guess what?
You have to teach them these things. You are the PARENT...they are the CHILD...
Please don't expect them to know these things when they come into this big world.
Teach them, period. (Learn it for yourself first, and then teach it to them. Teach them by YOUR OWN words and actions...oh dear...they're going to learn from you anyway...be careful)
Someone asked me once how I did everything I do for my kids by myself (I'm a single mom)...my reply was one I thought was just obvious..."I've had my turn, now it's their's"...
But I have seen that this statement was not so obvious.
I see children from "good" people, that are so lonely, fending for themselves, raising themselves.
My heart breaks...
Parents: you are missing out. Just put the other stuff down. Forget all that stuff. Don't waste anymore time. Time goes by second by second...you don't get it back...ever.
Spend your time with your kids. But do it with an open heart. Love the time you spend with them. Be happy, not resentful.
Cheer them on,
    encourage them,
           smile at them,
               wink at them,
                     applaud them,
                           laugh with them,
                                tell a joke,
                                    go get a "treat' together,
                                         do something unexpected,
                                             walk in the park,
                                                get off the phone
                                                   stop texting--look at them 
                                                       go get an ice cream,
                        go to a movie (let them pick-and you endure it)...
time is so much more valuable than 'things'.
Of course those things are fun too...but when they look back (maybe on their graduation day), what they will remember is "YOU"...the time spent together...what it was like. Will their memory be filled with lonliness, argueing, never able to please, constant repremanding???
Let them be who they ARE...not who you WANT them to be.
Choose your battles.
It's ok to let some things go.Think first. Does is "really" matter?
I mean, really?


You cannot imagine the fulfillment you will receive
                              when you stop living "FOR" yourself...
                                             and start giving "OF" yourself.


It's a proven fact.
Children are a gift from God...do you get excited when you open gifts?
The gift of a child is the greatest gift of all...it should make your heart beat faster when you see that precious angel run across the yard, chasing fireflies, laughing til they cry, squirting each other with the hose, cuddling up on the couch, reading a bedtime story, walking hand in hand (even if they're 18 years old), sleeping...


Take your children to church. Teach them about GOD.
What a tragedy if we don't take the time to do this.


Put yourself aside.
Sure, you can have "some ME time",
But...
I promise that "WE time" is even better.


These are my Thoughts,
Dara Murphy

I AM

I was reminded tonight of:

where I came from
      how far I've come
             the mountains I've climbed
                    the valleys I've trodded
                             the great people in my life
                                            the battles I've won
                                                  the sinner I was, the sinner I am...

and I was reminded of who pulled me through, who held my hand, who wiped my tears, who provided it all:

                                                      My Sweet JESUS.

Some people reading my blog may think I am a crazed Jesus fan (you're right), an obsessed Christian (you're right), a Jesus lover (you're right)...it's ok if you think that...I simply know where I was before and where I am now and I am thankful. I mean really, he died for ME.
My life has been different, difficult, delightful, dutiful, despairing, dilusional, delicious, and at times, just dandy.
But through it all, it has been dedicated. My Jesus dedicated his love to me BEFORE I was even born...
I am the lucky one.
I know how incredibly hard it is to live a life on the other side of the track: without him.
But (thank you Jesus), I know how incredible it is to live a life on THIS side of track: WITH him.
If it's all the same to you, I'll continue life on THIS side.
There's still heartaches, trials, despair, stress, hills and valleys...but the DIFFERENCE is that I'm not the one that has to handle it all. It is now handled be the DIVINE: my Jesus.

Thank you Lord, for reaching down and picking me up out of the lowest time of my life. I did not DESERVE the special attention. I did not DESERVE the mercy. I did not DESERVE the blood you shed for me. I did not DESERVE it all.

But I give my life to you...and I thank you for caring.
For without you I am DEFEATED...I am DONE...
But with you I am...well...
I
Just
AM.

Thank you Jesus.
These are my thoughts,
DARA
                                  
                                     

                          

I love teenagers.

I have a heart for teenagers.
I love the way they are uninhibited, laughing hysterically, silly, into new trends, making new trends, facing life, fearful of life, ...loving life.
I think back when I was one of those...teenagers.
And then I get scared...
Lordy, Lordy...I was all of the above, but you can also add: fearless, risk-taker, dreamer, wild & crazy, knew no limits, took chances, "do now...think about it later" kind of...well, teenager, and then some (years that is).
Don't get me wrong. I was who I am now, in my heart...but just a lot more "none the wiser".
Oh how I had so much to learn! Yes, I thought I knew it all...boy did I!!!!
But guess what...I was wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. There, I said it. Yes, it's hard to admit it...but it's simply the truth. Just wrong...right about a "few" things, wrong about a lot.
I was indestructable...living life to the fullest.
Making CHOICES...one at a time.

This is where things started taking directions, with choices.
Choices...big ones, little ones, a lot of them...I made them all.
Some were good, some were bad...and then,
Some were just plain...
well...
stupid.

I'm almost 46 years old now...I've learned so much. And I have a lot more to learn.
In fact, I can bet, that I'll never stop learning.
This is where teenagers come in...
If I can help in some very small way...help them, steer them, guide them, advise them. Stop them from doing some of the things that so many of us (45) year olds look back and regret.
I don't live in total regret...I have made some wonderful choices along with the not so wonderful ones...but I've learned something---much--- from them all.

So here goes:
1. You don't know everything. I'm sorry to break this to you---it shocked me too. But, as much as I hate to admit it...it's true. Just take my word for it---please!
2. Since you don't know everything... stop long enough to actually listen to heartfelt advice from the people you repec; those that have high morals and Godly character. Find someone to trust, talk to them (an older, wiser person), let them help you...be patient, open-minded...and PRAY.
3. WHen you think you're 22 years old and time is running out to find that "perfect" one...STOP! Relax! It's not to late! Wait for the person that is perfect for you. GOd has a plan. He wants YOU to find that perfect one...made in HIS image, just for you! They're out there. Be still and know that God has a plan. 
     --Don't lower your standards.
     --DO NOT try to chage them! This will NOT work! They are who they are...if you don't like them this way, then think twice---three times---!!!ugggghhhhh
     --Don't change yourself FOR them. The day will come when you want yourself back! You are who YOU are...God gave you certain traits, personality, and talents that you should expand on. If you try to change for someone to please THEM, the day will come when you miss yourself...and that will be a sad day, (for you.)
     --WHen you find that "special one" look at their family...it's the total package. For real.
     --Find the one who you REPSECT and the one who RESPECTS you. If you don't know what respect means: Webster states that it is... high or special regard. When you look at that person, you should respect their character, their morals, their habits, their talents; you should respect every part of them.
     --Here goes...respect yourself enough to wait. (you know what I'm talking about) God made this part of marriage a very sacred event between a man and wife. Save yourself for the one,,,"THE" one. This is so important but so hard to explain...It's just what God intends for us to do and it should be held to the highest standard. It's meant to be special...a bond...for that ONE person. After marriage. Not before, "well-we're gonna get married anyway...well, I love him/her, so why wait..." No! Don't fool yourself. It is plainly stated in God's Holy Word. Wait. Each person should respect the other with this decision...mutual...just do it: save yourself, that is.
     --Marriage = support, encouragement, respect, admiration, lifting-up, sacrifice, selflessness, trials, victories, sharing, caring, patience, pride, and of course----GODLY LOVE.
4. Remember that it only takes ONE CHOICE to change your life forever. Don't play the game called "Do it now, worry about it later..." that outlook often ends up in a lifetime of "looking back". Think ahead...
5.  Be careful in all you do. You are not the "only" one it won't happen to. You are NOT indestructable.
6. Set goals...small ones each day...don't think ahead until you reach the one in front of you. Reach your goals. You will be proud.
7. Achievment is important! Strive to be the BEST YOU can be...you may not be "THE" best, but you CAN be "YOUR" best...Be proud of yourself. Do the things you would be proud of...the things that you see other people doing and you say : I wish I were more like that....be someone that YOU"RE PROUD OF.
8. Be a dreamer. Dreamers were the ones who gave us the "internet highway"..the way I'm writing this to you now....it's possible that YOU could be "THE ONE"! Go for it! Step out there...raise the bar...You can do it! It's a big, big world...with endless opportunities for all of us. Don't settle. Reach for the stars! And lean on the MAKER of the STARS.
9. There is a right AND a wrong. BOTH come with consequences. Be careful which one you choose...you will always endure the outcome of a choice.
10. Be caerful about what you LOVE the most...is it "things"??? Eventually, these "things" will stop satisfying...the most important things in life are not....THINGS. Love one another.
11. Last but not least...in fact, it's the most important thing in life: Trust GOD. He created you. He loves you. He wants the very best for you. He will Help you. Make sure he is in EVERY decision you make. Please Him. It's really simple...but yet so very hard...do the things that please Him, and don't do the things that you would be embarrased to do in front of Him. If He walked in the room with you, would you be ashamed? would you fall to your knees in complete and utter AWE and wonder, looking in the eyes of YOUR Savior? or would you even know it was Him?
I love teenagers.
Actually, not just teenagers...

These are my thoughts,
Dara
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