Words to live by:

"With man this is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Friday, March 11, 2011

Well Good morning!
Yesterday was a very tough day. I get asked a lot!!! how I do all I do...
"I don't know how you do it all", "how do you do it", "arent you tired?"...is what I hear so often.
To sum it up quicky:
I work a full time job/ministry (which involves sometimes very weird hours),
I go to college (for 10 more months & will graduate with a BFA! Art/Graphic Design),
I am a single mom of 2 (and have been for 7 years)which includes, Baseball, football, basketbal, problems, doctors, homework, life in general........),
I hold a second (third???) job selling jewelry,
and everything in between!
Yes it is hard!
Most of the time, I just trudge forward, looking toward my daily goals. I ask God for A LOT of help, and I don't think about it being any other way; it's what I have to do in order to make a living and a decent life for my children. (It's their turn!)
But there are days here and there, when it all gets to be a bit much...
When being a single parent, or just single is for the birds...
when I miss that family bond...
when I miss a shoulder to cry on (at home)...
when I miss my extended family in Huntsville (I don't have any other family close by)...
When life throws curve balls...
when my kids are hurting...
when things just arent in the plan or when things don't go just right.
Life can do that you know....???
It's days like these when I will be riding down the road, with tears rolling off my face and I don't even realize it. It's those days that I feel like I'm just moving forward for the sake of moving forward...

So yes, believe or not, I'm human.
I cry.
I hurt.
I moan and groan.
I get angry.
In fact, I get down right MAD.
I sometimes don't think it's fair.
I have a "weeeee" bit of self pity...ok...a lot.

I think about the people in bed with cancer not knowing if they will have another year with their family.
I think about the ones that have lost a child.
I think about the people that have lost everything they ever knew, because of our economy.
I think about the people that go to work outside in the hottest or coldest of days and work to their fingers bleed.
I think about what I've been through and where I am now.
I turn on the news.
I think about the people that are fighting for our lives---for our FREEDOM! , AS WE SPEAK.
I look at my 2 PRECIOUS children...I look into their eyes...the eyes that need me, count on me, love me.
I think of the people that don't know Jesus.

I pull myself together.
I get down on my knees...I talk it out with the one who understands my every thought, my every breath, my every...
I talk to my best friend...my precious Jesus...He always knows just the right thing to say.
I wipe the tears.
I ask forgiveness for being selfish...again.
I thank HIM for loving me through it all...and I thank HIM for ONE more minute to do "ALL the things I do".

I get up..off my knees.
I smile.
I move forward.
And I KNOW that

So I go. 
Into another thankful minute of this life that I was so gracefully given.
I realize, that it's really not about me...
It's about my children. my job, my goals, my friends, my family, and MY precious Lord.
Where do I fall?
I fall in the midst of every single one of these gifts...I am so lucky...
In fact I am Blessed.

Lyrics from Martina McBride's "Blessed"
I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

So how do I do it all?
Well, ...
for TODAY...
It's easy.

These are my thoughts:
Dara Murphy

Monday, March 7, 2011

It really is the only way

Sitting here after a 13 hour day and then more homework at home.
It's 11:30 and I am blurry eyed...

My thoughts are wandering to a day of conversations.
I see many people throughout my days...I talk, I listen, I advise, I take advice, I laugh, I cry, I extend a hand, I am humbled, I love, I pray.

Our hearts are troubled.
My heart is troubled.
This world is troubled.
Priorities are out of control...we don't even know what's supposed to be a priority.
There are people, many people, with burdens so heavy.
My heart aches for them, so I offer a simple gesture, a hug, a shoulder, a promise.

Here are the things that have crossed my path:
this week.

Young Adulthood: A young person fresh out of high school faced with such hard and life altering decisions and has never faced such a crucial time before. It seems like it's too much. What do I take? What is my future? It's too hard! I can't do this! Where do I work? What do I do? I need more money. Not enough time. Exhausted. I need ... I need a hug. I need to cry. It's too fast. I'm not ready to grow up. I miss the days not so long ago. Those really "were" the best days of my life. I can't make a decision. I'm scared. Why does it have to be like this? It's not easy to grow up. This isn't what I thought it would be like. I always wanted to grow up so fast...what was I thinking. Help!

Looking Back: Someone looking back on what could've been. If only...I wish...Should I have? There are things I want to do. I worry. I have dreams. I'm scared.  I love my family. What should I do from here? Why didn't I know? Why did I ever do that? Such regrets. What is the future? The past, a lot of mistakes. I'm good, really...but... Just wondering. Just thinking. Just dreaming. Time really does fly.  Help!

Adolescence:  A child approaching the young adult years...so many deicisions!. I want my mom. My mom embarrases me. I love my mom. Stop it mom. I can't "wear" that! That's lame. That's cool. What is this on my face? Oh my gosh! Too much to do...not enough to do. I hate homework. School---uggghhh. When am I ever gonna need that in life??? WHy do I have to learn all that?! I can't wait to grow up! I need your help! No! I can do it on my own! I'm not a baby! Will you hold me? I love you (whispers). A tear. Wiping the tears in silent. Embarrased. Giggles. Chatterbox. Won't speak. It's ok...I understand my child. Help!

Middle Aged:  Life becomes such a struggle sometimes. It's too much. Too hard. Not enough time in the day. What about me!? I give give give! WHat about me?  I've never faced this before. I try so hard, but get nowhere. I just wanna laugh a little! I need break! So what am I supposed to do? If only there were more of me! Sleep? ha! Peace? ha! I can't do this anymore. Really. It's too late now. I'm desperate. Time has flown. Me?? Middle aged? You're crazy...well? I wanna scream! Pull my hair out!  Help!

We're all so different...but yet, so much the same.
Why do we keep it on our own shoulders when we are so weak? We can't do it alone...
So who do we go to?
There's only one answer...and you know don't you?
He begs us...pleads with us to let Him...

L ay your burdens
O n me..
R ight now, because
D aily I will carry them for YOU.

It really is the only way.
These are my thoughts: