Words to live by:

"With man this is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Is it Fair??? Well, of course not!

Someone asked if I would write a blog that pertains to children that have to grow up in an unfair world...
After thinking about this for a few days, I believe this pertains to all of us: don't you agree?

We need to start at the beginning.
Why are we here?
Well...it's really simple.
I am going to tell you exactly why we were created: some of you may not agree and I would like to say, "well, that's o.k." but it's really not...because I want you to get this! I study my rulebook for life, the Bible, and this is where I go for answers. GOd's word is undeniable truth...simple as that. I don't try to mince the words around in it, I don't try to fit it into my own way of life, I don't pick out only the parts that are comfortable...it's just the way it is and I accept it, knowing that it will not EVER fail me.
You NEED to get this in order to live the best life you possibly can!

We were created by GOD, soley to glorify him.
1 Corinthians 10:31 we read, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
We are to glorify (lift up, make proud, exhault, please) God in everything we DO and SAY! Everything!

So now that you know "why"... we can on to it...
I have 2 children, one is almost grown at 19, and the other at age 11, is growing up way to fast. There's really no choice in this world, but to grow up fast. The days of skipping stones, building forts, walking to the corner store are almost extinct.
To me, this is terribly sad.
This was a time of innocence, safety and helping one another. Parents actually taught their children how to have respect for authority, manners out in public, and take responsibility for their actions.
The truth of the matter, is now....we live in a world that, for the most part...lacks ANY respect for authority, manners are too much trouble to teach, and the children are not required to be responsible (not "my" kid syndrome). 

We can blame it on the fast-paced world---"i'm always busy"..."i've got to get to work"..."i'm exhausted". But think about it, here we go again...not taking responsibility. I know we're tired...believe me! I know! But as parents, we are the ONES that are RESPONSIBLE for teaching our children. Not anyone else!
No matter how tired, no matter how busy, no matter.

I believe that we need to change our ways of thinking...
think of each precious moment with our children, whether its at a ballgame, school activity, church, or yes, teaching them...as a gift. Because that IS what it IS...a gift. Every second that ticks by, is another opportunity missed, or it's just another second closer to the end. Spend this time wisely.
It's not all about the money...the TIME you spend as oppossed to the dollars, just may come in handy one day...you can count on it.

SO, as far as living in an unfair world...for that, I'm sorry. We just do.
It's a fact and it's not going to change anytime soon.
I teach my children that no matter what the circumstance, we are to act GODLY. And to know how to do that we must LEARN what God expects of us. There is no other way.
In doing this, when you turn your back and walk away, you can KNOW that you are the WINNER. Yes, sometimes it's incredibly hard to do this...yes, sometimes it won't be FAIR...yes, they may "think" they won. But if you truly did it God's way, you will ALWAYS be the winner!
It's between you and God right?
Walk away and know that you did things the right way.
You don't NEED to get the last word, be careful what you say...or do.
Never go to bed with a guilty conscience.
Sometimes there will be tears and heartache...but I promise, this is the way to get through this unfair world.
You need a peaceful heart...don't hold resentment...let it go.
Don't seek revenge or "payback". Let it go.
Know that it's just not going to always be fair...that means sometimes we just have to "suck it up" and go to the next thing...yes, knowing that it wasn't right or fair.
I'm sorry. I've been through it a million times in my own life and in the lives of BOTH of my children. But I can also testify that in the end they have come out ahead. On their own...not with MY help.
I've told this story a lot of times:
my daughter, Anna Lee, had some very hard years...she wasn't like the rest of her class. She was a christian first and foremost. A lot of times (in fact, most times) she didn't get invited to parties or to spend the night or whatever...she was left out...she was alone. But I always told her to stand firm in her beliefs, stand strong, never let em' see you sweat, and be KIND to everyone---no matter what. There were some years that there were alot of tears...but in in the end, she was voted Class favorite, Miss Alexandria, Miss AHS, Friendliest,Top Ten etc.   She did all of this on her own. I did not do it for her...there were times, that I made her do a lot of things she did not want to, hold her head up and move forward...it was hard. I cried, she cried...but she did it. She is a much better person to this very day. She stands as a leader and respected by her peers as well as by me.
I am not boasting about my child, I am simply trying explain that if done with a pure and honest heart, God will always prevail.

I do need to add: there is a very fine line that you DO need to stand up for yourself or your child. You don't have to aloow people to "bully" or make your life miserable. But just find this line, for children and for parents. But always know that the "unfair" monster is going to appear from time to time...so be ready.

This world is not fair. And at times, I also want to go screaming out into the street. I WANT to have the last word, to make them understand...but there will always be a next time. ANd it will always start all over again...so I will just stick to what I know will ALWAYS work: glorifying my God.

And with that : To God be the Glory! He has never let me down! He has a plan for your life, let him be your guide...
and for now:
These are my Thoughts.

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